NOTE: This blog was written in August 2020; however, it is quite relevant to many people who are going into the “empty nest” time of life.
Today, our three boys moved out. They’ve been talking about it for a while, but the process took less time than any of us had imagined. Now they are gone, and the house is eerily quiet. No laughter from upstairs. No footsteps down the stairs. No, “Oh, Meeeester …” as they call for our small dog, Coco, to come play.
As parents, we all know this day will come eventually. We try not to think about it, but it is inevitable in the end. Although I am going to miss them terribly and will have spontaneous outbursts of tears for the next few weeks, I’m sure, I know it is going to be great for them to start adulting and making life decisions on their own. Teaching them how be ultimately responsible for their own lives is what we have raised them to do. We’ve made our mistakes on this journey, and they will, too, but each step will be a learning experience that they will learn from and move forward.
For us, our entire upstairs living area is practically a ghost town. 3 queen-size beds are now gone, 3 large dressers, tons of clothing, a love seat and chair, bicycles, bowling balls, basketballs, the boat, tents, sleeping bags … all gone. In a way, it is freeing to know I don’t have to move all those items to our next place, but it also leaves an empty space in my heart to know I won’t be going up to wake anyone up any longer or to tell them to pick up after themselves (both a plus and a minus) 😊
It is giving me extra motivation to rid myself of more of my own possessions and to make my space more tidy and peaceful to clear my mind of the chaos and to focus on my new chapter with my husband just like the boys are doing for themselves. They are excited and scared at the same time. I have some of the same feelings myself. New adventures are ahead for all of us in this new normal.
My heart is heavy and happy at the same time. I’m happy for the fact that my boys had the confidence and planning that it took to make this move happen on their own. I’m happy that they are showing maturity and responsibility traits that we have prayed for throughout their lives. I’m happy to have some uninterrupted alone time with my husband of almost 30 years and for the time we will have to truly reconnect in this new role as parents without the responsibility of disciplining our kids and nagging them into compliance. It will be interesting to see how our relationship with them adapts to this new adult to adult concept.
If there are things in your life that are changing at the speed of light that you don’t have control of, remember that you do have control of how you respond to those changes and that you can choose to find the joy in the involuntary moments you face. Here’s to new beginnings.
Author note: Shortly after this was written, my daughter and two others moved in and filled the upstairs again. The house is full, but I know one day it will be back to my husband and me, and the house will once again be quiet. My heart will always be full of the love that has filled our home and lives since the day I first became a mother until the day I meet my Maker.